Friday, April 6, 2012

Time, an insomniac and his future wife

X is a funny guy. His favorite pastime is to dive into the molasses of his memory and analyze his decisions, to find fault in each of them and then to decide contentedly that he had been utterly wrong every time and would decide upon a completely different course of action if the situation presents itself again. Being a fickle minded chap and already in his mid thirties he has still got a lot of decisions to ponder upon. Till now, through undaunted concentration spreading over a number of sleepless nights, he has, to his utter delight, successfully leveled most of his past decisions stupid. Some were easy to dismiss, like visits to a certain ice cream parlor, not once, but innumerable times, when ice cream was the last thing on his mind, which led to twenty four hour phone calls, with occasional but inevitable breaks and finally tears and more solitude. X could easily look back and say that there was something wrong in that ice cream shop and it was a mistake to go there. Some decisions, however, couldn’t be dismissed so easily, there were inherent contradictions. Like becoming an atheist first and then turning into a believer some years later after realizing the fact that religious belief and identity in our society are like roads and potholes, you simply cannot separate one from the other.

No one knows why X is so fond of losing his sleep over such inconsequential whims. One would think that he is waiting for a time machine which will take him back and give him another go at everything, even condemning his fresh set of decisions with relish in the friendly silence of his rented apartment.

Now X has taken another decision, a momentous one at that. He is going to marry, not very shortly though. The world may end this year and he has a lot of thinking to do. If the world survives, then next year would be ideal, preferably a cold November day, with a little rain of course.

He doesn’t know it yet, but his life partner will be a charming lady Y. She is quite unlike X, sleeps like a cog every night, doesn’t think about the past, or for that matter the future. She doesn’t allow old memories to spread their web inside her head. She takes few decisions and sticks by them. One of these will be her ‘Yes’ to X. And no, the world won’t end this December. I can already feel the suspense in the air, will X regret this decision too after a few years? Or will X start sleeping again? Will Y start doubting her decisions for the first time after spending a few days with X? I know the answers of course, but won’t tell, no, not even a single word.

How do I know? Because I am the keeper of the ineluctable destinies of all of you, the connector of dreams and memories, hope and knowledge. I am time. Someone like X, who was tormented by his memories every now and then, wrote about me in despair-
Time marches, memory stays
Torturing silently the rest of our days..

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