A proud sinner

Yesterday morning, I was discussing over phone the prospect of an afterlife with a genius friend of mine. I wondered aloud what I would be born as in my next life when he laughed raucously and suggested the fascinating possibility of being reborn as a lamb. He also predicted as a good measure that I would be slaughtered at a young age on the joyous occasion of a fresher’s feast in an Engineering College. He even tried to imitate the guttural cry of a lamb being slaughtered, though it sounded suspiciously like a groan of pleasure to my ears. You see, this friend of mine always believed in multitasking.

But this discussion made me think about what I have done in my life till now. Hinduism believes in ‘Karmafal’, which basically means that I will have to suffer in my next life if I am not too careful of what I do in the current one. By that philosophy, I am a goner. I have committed almost all cardinal sins advertised by my faith. And being the kind of man I am, there is every possibility that I may complete the full quota of sins before meeting my maker. Also, as all religions have a somewhat similar notion of sin, changing my faith is not going to help me either. Terrifying thought, guys! There is simply no way out!

So, where did I go wrong? I lied, yes, and it saved my skin a number of times. Should I have told my father that I had spent my pocket money buying the latest issue of Debonair? Nah..that is a scarier proposition than being born as an animal marked for slaughter. I am jealous of my intellectual friends and why shouldn’t I? How easily they can post two different words in facebook, having individual meaning but meaningless when put together, and then get numerous likes on their status! I smoke, drink and lust after comely females irrespective of their caste, creed and ahem..marital status, without any degree of success though. Is trying to have a good life a crime now? The list is endless. To sum it up, I think live in relationship is pure fun although I couldn’t persuade anyone to indulge in one with me. Perhaps I smelt badly. So, I had to clean myself up and get married.

I want to believe in God. I think he is understanding enough to get my point. If not, then good luck to him and his cohorts. Let me live my life to the fullest.

Even if I am born as a lamb in my next life, as my dear friend had so joyously predicted, I am sure to get a better life after being turned into delicious lamb chops. After all, a lamb cannot sin. So, the only way for me will be up and up only. It is far better than living like an ass whole life listening to other people’s diktats.

So sharpen your knife butchers. Here I come!